Trying

Today I am trying.  Trying to appreciate my 8,7, 5 and 4 year olds.  Trying to remember how precious they are (even when they are not acting so precious).  Trying to deal with the fact that any minute truly could be our last minute.  I am trying not to cry as I pull into the parking lot at school and see a police car parked there.  I am trying to smile as I let me girls run off to school, happy as can be to spend time with their friends and their teachers.  I am trying to take every moment in and cherish it all.   I am trying to do all that, and still go about business as normal.  Christmas is in a few days, family is arriving, parties are being hosted.  These are all important things.  Things still need to get done.  And yet, the most important thing are those girls.  I need to keep reminding myself that.  Stop.  Enjoy.  Cherish.  I am never sure why it is so hard.  But I am sure that I need to try.