4 going on 14

I know we all hear it, and we all say it, but Maura really acts like a teenager (and not always in a good way) sometimes.

Maura has been asking for an Eagles dress (cheerleading outfit) lately. Mags and B both have one (the bigger one was Mo's) and Mo has a pink jersey. With the Eagles (shockingly) doing so well lately, they have been wearing them a lot. Well, Mo wants a dress, not a jersey (personally I prefer the jersey). They have been having pep rallies at school and have another tomorrow. I was picturing getting ready for school and all she has is an Eagles "shirt" while her sisters get dresses... not going to be pretty.

So I tell Mo I have been looking and looking (true) for an Eagles "dress" and can't find one.

She looks up and says, "Oh Momma, I am over that."

A few days ago we were talking about who will room with who at our new house. Maura decided she wanted to room with Kerri. We asked her if she would miss Mags.

She replied, "There's always that possibility."

Didn't last long.

I kind of lost it last night (hours after my "I am so proud entry"). After two dumped -folded- laundry baskets and an entire dresser emptied onto the floor, I had it. My kids are crazy... Or...maybe I just should supervise them better!

I smelled the Pee...

and i didn't yell. I "calmly" discussed the merits of being a big girl (for the 100th time). I am proud of myself .

Stop and smell the...

I was going to write about some accidents that have been happening in our house lately, mostly on the couch while watching tv, but I have changed my mind.

As I sit in my quiet house tonight, I cannot help but feel so grateful for all the blessings that I have. I also can't help but feel guilty for all the times I complain about my lot in life. I really do have it good. I am so, so grateful for four healthy girls. In fact, every time I get pregnant I worry that I pushed my luck just a little too far. So far, we have truly been blessed with healthy, happy girls.

My husband is terrific. He may drive me nuts sometimes, but that is only because I am jealous of him. His laid back attitude and ability to just live in the moment is something I wish I had more of.

My family is great. We are so lucky to have our parents close by. They are always willing to help out, and the girls will never refuse a visit to one of their houses (in fact B is at my P's right now). My parents have been taking one of the girls for the whole weekend (and then some) for the last few months. It is amazing how much easier it seems with one less child. I love that the girls run to the door (or in warmer weather are waiting on the doorstep) when my parents arrive. They hop right into the car seat, sometimes before my dad has had a chance to buckle it!

My house is wonderful. I am warm, and I am safe. I know we will be leaving this house in a few short months, and I am definitely excited for more room for the girls to spread out, play and grow. But this house has served us well, very well. I love the neighborhood and the friends we have made here. I will miss it.

We have great friends. I love seeing the bulletin board full of Christmas card pictures from all of our friends and family. How truly blessed to know so many thoughtful people. I really realized that this fall. When I was in the hospital with kidney stones it was amazing how many people offered their help. I was floored at who and how many went that extra step to lend a hand, some people I did not even know that well.

So this year, for my resolution (besides the obligatory lose weight) I am going to stop and smell the roses, and if it smells a little like pee (refer to first paragraph) I am not going to yell (at least not that loud) but take it for what it is... a little pee on the couch. I can clean it and try to teach my otherwise healthy 3 year old not to do it again. Yelling doesn't work in this house (I know, I have tried) so a new, calmer approach needs to be developed. I am going to try to be more "in the moment", more "there" during the days, not just waiting for the night when Sean arrives home. I know I will trip up. I know I will down right fall, but I will get up again and, with a calm voice, start over.

So, wish me luck on this. I already know I am so lucky in so many other ways.

1st day (well half) for B

We tried for B's first day of school on Tuesday. She started off so well. She couldn't wait to get dressed. She came downstairs and went right for her coat. She insisted on eating at a big girl chair. She loved wearing her backpack and giving her sisters theirs. The ride to school went great. She went right to her classroom and played on the slide, then the tug boat, then with the strollers. She was so busy playing, she had no time to say goodbye to me. Oh well, 4th kid, I am over that.

Life was good for Kerri and I. We were shopping without a care in the world, until the phone rang.

"Oh Autumn, she won't stop screaming. We even brought her sister in to calm her down."

"I'll be right there."

So off I went to pick her up. Even after fifteen minutes with me, she was still trying to catch her breath.

I guess we will see how next week goes. (Yes, I am cruel; I am dropping her off again next week!)

Before.

That is commonly heard in our house now.

I wanted it before.

I wanted you to unbuckle me before -insert name-.

Why didn't you get me that before?

Well I hate to tell you girls. Before is gone. done. never to be here again.

It is now later, and you can take it or leave it.

I can no longer get your your milk *before* I answer the phone.

I can't give you your plate of food before I give your sister hers. I already gave her hers. It cannot be undone.

You can cry
scream
kick
hit
yell
Whatever form of rebellion you choose.

But before is gone.

Later.

Today was a rough one...

That's all I have to say about that.